How to Start Conversations with Strangers and Make Long-Term Friendships

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Curiosity has always driven me to understand the art of making friends, especially with strangers.

I've read several books on social skills, human connection, and communication, eager to crack the code on building meaningful relationships.

After experimentation and observation i condensed what i learned in these 5 steps , obviously it can be expanded to things beyond this but these tips are clear and practical.

Its simple ,effective and I am pretty sure you would have seen it happening around you.

Its perfect for people like me who desperately look for words to keep a dying conversation going or just for people whose mind goes blank during social situations . So without much delay lets get into it .

Step 1: Proximity and Eye Contact

When starting conversations, it's crucial to keep two things in mind: proximity and eye contact.

Proximity : Engaging with people who are within one or two meters makes it easier for them to hear you without yelling and feels more natural.

Conversations often start in elevators, on public transportation, or while waiting in line.

Eye Contact : Initiate conversations with people who make eye contact, even if just for a millisecond. Eye contact is a form of communication and acknowledgment.

If someone is focused on their work in a coffee shop, they’re less likely to welcome an interruption.

However, if they’re looking around or playing on their phone, they might be open to chatting.

Step 2: Ask "Where Are You From?"

Once someone in your proximity makes eye contact, move to step two: asking, "Where are you from?" This question is a great icebreaker.

If you're from a place where everyone shares a similar background, you can adjust this to, "What part of town are you from?" This opening line rarely receives a negative reaction.

Step 3: Share What You Know or Ask About Their Background

After they respond, step three involves sharing what you know or asking them a question about their background. Here are a few examples:

Example 1: When meeting someone from Bhutan, you might say, "Oh wow, I've never met anyone from Bhutan before, but I heard it's the happiest country on the planet. Is that true?"

This shows you’re interested and invites them to share more.

Example 2 : When meeting someone from Nigeria, you could ask, "I heard the smartest Nigerians leave Nigeria. Is that true?"

This might sound risky, but it’s a genuine question born from curiosity, and it often leads to interesting discussions.

Sharing what you know and asking questions shows genuine interest in the other person’s background, making future conversations more engaging.

Step 4: Invite Them Out

If you enjoy the conversation and think you’d have fun hanging out, move to step four: inviting them out. In a city with a good nightlife, invite them for drinks.

Otherwise, suggest grabbing a meal.

Being a fun person to hang out with involves continuing the engaging conversations from step three and using other conversation skills.

Step 5: Remember Their Name

The final step is simple: the next time you see them, mention their name once. This shows you remembered their name, which makes a strong impression.

You don't need to overdo it—just mentioning it once is enough to make them think, "Wow, this person remembered my name!"

Final thoughts

By applying these steps, I've found it much easier to connect with new people and build meaningful friendships.

Give it a try and see how it transforms your social interactions and don't be disheartened if you goof up or if the interaction doesn't go as planned , communication is a skill and will take time to build .

As long as you don't give up the doors to being a potential charmer will always be open .